I just realized that I’ve been sitting in this café for over nine hours now. There have been a few twinges of angst- When am I going to get into the monastery again?!? Should I do ten days?! ? Or twenty six?! Or twenty? I need to buy a ticket to India… Laundry…
But nothing so pressing that I have to jump up and do it. I’m here, so I am surrendering to being here, and taking a chance- I am learning to enjoy being present. I enjoyed the apple cinnamon pancake for breakfast, a folded crepe laced with honey. I really enjoyed the massaman curry for dinner, with the spicy coconut sauce, the soft potatoes and the crunchy peanuts. And I loved the taro balls in coconut cream for dessert. Apparently taro is a Thai sweet potato. So many of their desserts are good for you. Taro balls in coconut cream. Fresh corn in coconut cream. Black beans in coconut cream.
I have watched the street, the tall, angular European couple cycling by on their bikes. I stared wide-eyed at the two Thai guys roaring by on a motorbike that was balanced on only its back wheel. I smiled and shook my head at the various peddlers selling mangoes, medicines, and ice cream. I laughed when the American man forgot his brand new bottle of water and had to come back to get it, amid the twittering, pointing group of Thai girls. The Thai girls are so flirtatious, and they often work in groups. But there is no malice in their flirting, or motive. They just think everything is so funny! They giggle in groups, teasing and playing with the foreign men until the men become red-faced and flustered. They are simply overcome. They don’t know how to react to so much giggling female attention. It’s hilarious to watch. So I watched and giggled along with them.
I feel the wood under my feet, smooth and round and a strong support for my legs. I feel the bench against my back, which should be uncomfortable by now, but is not. I have watched morning turn to afternoon turn to evening, and looked many times across the lane to the bright pink flower vines that climb up the brick wall and tangle beautifully with the leaves and branches of the tree on the other side. I have done some thinking, but for the most part, been aware of the thinking, and known that I’m right here, nonetheless. I haven’t gotten lost in it, and resurfaced with a stomach ache, or inexplicable anxiety.
Maybe I’m getting used to vacation 😉