Indian Scorn

Shakespeare used this form you’re reading now
I’m using it cause I have nothing else to write
I’ve written about the goats and dogs and cows
But did I tell you ‘bout the internet fight?

One day I went and sat down in the shop
A frustrated Brit was sitting to my right
Trying to upload impressive Facebook shots
Of Indian adventures, and colorful foreign sights

Alas, he wasted the whole entire hour
Because his shots, they simply wouldn’t upload
He refused to pay, his face quite drawn and sour
This proved to be the ultimate Indian goad…

The owner of the shop flew into a rage
He demanded fifty rupees, NOW, or else!
The Brit fought back with admirable skill and grace
He said, “You’re computers are bunk, control yourself!”

The Indian proceeded to cause a great uproar
I gathered up my purse, my hat, my shawl
The Brit took out his wallet, full of scorn
Said, “It’s not the money, it’s the principal!”

He threw the money, the Indian threw it back
I worried they’d fall to blows right then and there
I marched up to the desk, pulled on my hat
As the two men shot each other deadly stares

So that sums up the sordid internet fight
The Brit walked out, indignant, fifty short
Alas, his Facebook page is still not quite
As awe-inspiring as he’d hoped, I must report.

The Indian owner cursed and fumed and spat
He wouldn’t look me in the eye at all
Embarrassed, one-upped, disgraced, and feeling bad
He swiped the money from my hand, and growled

I got the hell up out of there quite fast
I’ve never returned, but the joke is still on him
Because ever since that fated night I’ve had
Free internet whenever I feel the whim

It floats across the road, all free and clear
The man has no idea I’m ripping him off
And if he were a nicer chap, I swear
I’d pay, but he’s not, so I milk him for every last drop!

Thank you, Shakespeare, for giving us this form
For now, my readers, you’ve witnessed Indian scorn!!!IMG_1475


One Response to Indian Scorn

  1. Sheila says:

    Very clever Sarah! I really enjoyed this poem.

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